Pro
You can do a Nevermind-style photoshoot with your newborn baby
Con
Babies are inept at breathing underwater and your health insurance doesn’t cover the cost of infant resuscitation.
Pro
You can grow your own coral reef inside the pool.
Con
Coral reefs are notorious for attracting predators like barracudas and Australian businessmen.
Pro
You don’t need to swim in the muddy waters of a forest creek anymore.
Con
Chlorine tastes disgusting in comparison to mud.
Pro
Your children can grow up to be Olympic swimmers and win multiple gold medals.
Cons
They’ll become bankrupt after their professional career is over and you’ll wind up supporting them through adulthood.
Pro
You can finally be someone who drinks alcohol in the pool.
Con
You’ll be someone who drinks alcohol in the pool.
Pro
You can finally throw a big barbecue party in the summer with lots of music, food, fun, and friends.
Con
You’ll get into an argument with your buddy about the right way to grill a burger. You’ll eventually murder him, get arrested and wind up on Death Row until Suge Knight bails you out and launches your rap career.
Pro
The sight of a beautifully lit pool on winter nights is a serene, peaceful experience.
Con
You will swallow your own urine at some point.
Pro
You can have countless hours of fun swimming with your dogs.
Con
It’s all fun and games until your jealous neighbor releases a baby shark into the pool and ol’ Max becomes a chew toy.
