If you’ve read the title and assumed that this piece is about pregnancy in India, don’t worry it’s not. India already has too many of those. Both pregnancies and articles on pregnancy. No, this piece is about Indians have expectations higher than a ganja-smoking kite or lower than the very depths of hell. There is no in-between. No balance or nuance. We want the best, but if we get something a fraction better than the worst, we’re happy.
Indian parents expect their child to always be the best. If the child gets a 99 out of 100, parents will never congratulate him or her. But rather, berate him for losing that all valuable one mark. Yet, a child can impress them by doing something any semi-functioning human should do, that. If a bachelor son tells his mom that he did his own laundry that day, she will weep tears of joy and distribute sweets in the entire neighborhood that day
We have the highest expectations from Indian teachers. School students across the country recite a prayer which likens a good teacher to a God. In a way, this is true because, in most parts of India, good teachers are completely absent. We allow the same teachers to pinch, slap and assault kids without any repercussions. Teachers are at full freedom to insult and leave mental scars on the minds of young children. Our expectations are so low that we condone this, almost criminal, behavior, because hey at least the guy who beat me up also taught me. You know, something he was paid to do.
We expect our colleges to be havens for research, innovation and free thinking. We weep at the state of infrastructure in our universities. We complain how no student wants to go into deep research and make a difference. We cry when we see Indian-born foreign scientists. We wonder why our IITs cannot produce such a scholar. And then, come placement season, we apply to the company offering the highest package. Failing to get into the said company, we walk around the college with the same refrain ‘Bas Job Mil Jaye’.
We have such high expectations from our politicians that some of us actually go and vote ‘NOTA (None of the above)’. Almost proclaiming arrogantly that they couldn’t find a single representative to rule err.. administrate the country. We love to chide politicians for their arrogance. But, even if a politician does something even slightly normal, like helping a citizen in need or standing in a queue at an airport, it automatically becomes national news. People tweet about how he/she is a rare gem in Indian politics.
We are suckers for big brands and admire the Guccis and Ray-Bans of the world. Some of us harbor secret dreams of wearing a Versace suit one day. At any social gathering, if you praise someone’s shirt/pant/petticoat, the person will make a point to mention which brand it is. But, our expectations with brands are so low that we’ll make do with even the lousiest, most low-end brands as long as they’re ‘phoren’. If that sounds like an exaggeration, check the line outside the next Starbucks which opens in the country.
We expect our country to produce Oscar-winning movies by the dozen. But, ensure that a film becomes super-hit as long as it has Salman and a semblance of a story in it. We expect our holidays to be perfect and magical. And judge them by the number of profile pic worthy pictures we took while we were there. We expect to find the best partner for an arranged marriage but are quite content to ask him/her to accept us for how we are.
Finally, we have such high hopes for our country that we always call it the best country in the world. We even wrote a song stating exactly that. But anytime, there is a story about global rankings and India lags at the tail-end, we don’t feel ashamed. We pat ourselves on the back that at least we’re ranked higher than Pakistan.
